Paramour
by wolf's paradise
Summary: "Lily, do you know what it really means to be loved?" She nodded. "No, I mean really loved. Like… Like making love." Her eyes widened and stared into his hard hazel gaze. She shook her head.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Hello readers! So this is my very first Harry Potter story ever. Well, technically it's the second because I have another story in the making whose first chapter was finished before this one, but that's besides the point. Anyway, I actually surprised myself by doing a pretty good job on this chapter. Things just kinda flowed from my brain to my fingers and onto the keyboard lol. This was actually supposed to be a one-shot, but I got more ideas so it's going to be just a few more chapters =).

And, sad as it may be, if any of you reading this are _Lost in the Rain_ or _Forbidden Love_ readers, I won't be posting anything on those stories until at least the middle of May. I probably won't get anything out until the end of May because I have to study for all my finals and figure out my college classes for possible summer courses so I can get earlier registration dates. I really haven't been able to get any work done on those two stories; this one has filled my brain so it's all I can think about lol.

Even still, I hope you guys forgive me for not getting a chapter published on those other stories. Let me know if there's any spelling or grammar issues in this one, or if you think this story is completely horrible. Hope you guys enjoy it!

**Summary:** "Lily, do you know what it really means to be loved?" She nodded. "No, I mean really loved. Like… Like making love." Her eyes widened and stared into his hard hazel gaze. She shook her head.

**Disclaimer:** Nope, I don't own anything. If I did, I'd be a millionaire and I'd be using that money to pay for college – if I even needed to attend.

Chapter One

He groaned lightly as his world started shaking. His vision was blurring, and his eyes suddenly stung as consciousness shoved him into the land of reality. It was just like Sirius to sneak into the Heads' dormitory and wake him up in the middle of a good dream, especially since almost all of his dreams contained a girl he loved more than he thought was possible. He reached out, meaning to hit the perpetrator that had awoken him from a very wonderful dream, but all he touched was air.

"James?"

His eyes flew open. He had definitely not been expecting the soft, high voice that had called him. Besides, the other times he had heard her call his names hadn't been good.

As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he could only think what had caused her midnight visit. This had happened on a few other occasions. Scratch that. It had happened a total of twenty times, and they were times he wasn't likely to forget. Granted, he shouldn't have been counting, but time always seemed to blend together, so he had to count. But he desperately hoped that this wasn't going to make it twenty-one.

Finally, he could see soft strands of red hair turned blue from the moonlight, and sparkling emerald eyes that were red, puffy, and bright with tears. He pushed himself onto his elbows, and the girl gently sat on the edge of his bed, wringing her hands as silent tears continued to fall down her cheeks. He sighed heavily.

"Lily…" Of course. Twenty-one.

"I – I'm sorry!" she whispered hoarsely. "I just… didn't know who else to turn to. You always take care of me…" She drifted off, shoulders shaking as she turned her head away from his prying gaze. She had once told him that he saw too much, and perhaps he did. Maybe that was also why she always seemed to turn to him.

He sighed again and threw his legs over the edge of his bed, remembering with a wry glance around the room that Sirius, Remus, and Peter were all gone on account of the full moon. The three friends often slept in the Heads' dorm with him; it was private enough so that if Sirius or Peter were severely hurt they could be cared for more quickly and wouldn't risk being found out in the larger, more open Gryffindor Common Room. He had stayed in this time because he had been practicing a few difficult charms that he knew would be on the N.E.W.T.s at the end of the term. That and the fact that his worry for Lily seemed to consume him, ridding his mind of the pleasant numbness that precluded sleep. These twenty times had happened over the course of a month or two, much too often if James was completely honest with himself.

"Come on," he mumbled. "Let's go down to the common room."

"Wait!" she squeaked. "Isn't your stuff in your room? I mean, I thought I wouldn't… What if someone… I don't want anyone…"

She was babbling, a sure sign that she was definitely more upset than usual. It was Christmas break, hardly anyone had stayed, and those that had were intent on perfecting Charms and Transfiguration lessons or even History of Magic lectures for the upcoming N.E.W.T.s. Plus, she was in the Heads' dormitory. She should know this, but she was panicking, and he knew that she was shaken by what had happened.

He ran a hand through his sleep-mussed hair, stealing a glance at the girl sitting on his bed. Lily Evans used to be so bright and full of life. It was one of the reasons he had fallen in love with her. He didn't understand why until third year, and it was her force of character, the way she seemed to know exactly who she was and what she wanted, the way she carried herself, the way her cheeks would turn a lovely shade of strawberry when she'd blush that made him realize she was a truly special girl – one of a kind. They would banter back and forth; most of it was carefree, trying to see who would win the battle of wits during that time of the day.

It was almost pitiful seeing her so broken and fragile as she was now. She was just as feisty as normal during the day, but James wondered if he was the only one that could see the emptiness in her eyes or the way her hands would shake sometimes during a few of the Transfiguration lessons. He seemed to be the only one that saw her like this, to know that her beautiful soul was slowly being strangled. He missed the _real_ Lily.

"It's all right, Lily," he placed his hands on her shoulders, and she glanced up at him, the look on her face tearing up his insides. "I just forgot that Sirius and the others are helping—er… messing around outside tonight. You know, exploring Hogwarts," he covered, glancing furtively at the three empty sleeping bags on the floor.

Normally, the fact that students were roaming around the castle grounds would have sent her short temper flying, and she would have taken it out on him, the unofficial leader of his fellow Marauders. Tonight, there was nothing.

After making sure the door was shut and locked (just in case Sirius and Peter decided to come back unannounced), he turned on the lights, wincing as the brightness struck his tired eyes. He was exhausted and really needed some sleep, but there was nothing he would rather do than spend time with Lily Evans. It seemed that no matter what happened, he would always be destined to be there for her and to love her quietly. She hadn't exactly wanted his love or attention the other six years, which made him wonder why she had come to him almost two months ago wanting his help.

He carefully pulled out a small stash of Dittany – where and how he had stolen it, he would never tell. Lily scooted to the middle of the bed, crossing her legs as James sat across from her. He motioned for her to stretch her arms, but she hesitated.

"Lily, I'm not going to hurt you." There was only one other time he had been forced to tell her that. Just one.

She nodded, glancing down quickly, appearing ashamed for even thinking he would hurt her. He would never hurt her in his life. He watched as she carefully rolled up her sleeves. He groaned, forcing his eyes to peruse her appearance even further. At first, he hadn't noticed anything, but now he could see everything: the split lip, the crusted blood on her left temple, the numerous bruises coating her arms, the way she seemed to be avoiding leaning to her right, a large bruise still forming on her right shin… He shut his eyes and clenched his fist, fighting the urge to shake her until some sense entered her brain.

He opened his eyes, and he knew that his emotions were all too evident in his gaze. He didn't understand. He would never understand how someone could do something so horrible to something that was so beautiful. He quickly stood and opened the door to the bathroom; the two rooms each had a door that led to a large, beautiful bathroom with counters containing two sinks, a large shower off to his left, and an even larger soaking tub behind the counter and its adjoining mirror. He grabbed a towel and wet it, hurrying back and pressing it against Lily's temple. She flinched.

"Merlin, Lily," he whispered. "When will you leave him?" He carefully wiped away the blood as best as he could, then gathered a bit of the Essence of Dittany to gently place against her temple, proceeding to rub it on the green and purple bruises on her arms.

She shrugged and muttered quietly, "He's a Ravenclaw. He's a good guy."

Again, he fought the urge to shake her. "So you're saying that only a Slytherin would do this?"

She didn't respond, but that was enough for him. "Merlin, Lily, anyone could do this! Someone from Hufflepuff or – hell, even Gryffindor could do this to you!"

Her lips remained shut despite his outburst. He sighed. "He's not a good guy for you, Lily. He's not even a good guy period if he's doing this to you." He had never pushed the issue of trying to get her to leave him, but after the state she was in tonight… He had never seen her this bad.

"It isn't the first time, you know."

"Yeah, I know," James scoffed. "It's happened twenty other times."

She gasped, her shocked emerald eyes meeting his. "You counted?" She seemed horrified that he remembered how many times this had happened. Her lack of fire, the fire that she always had, was grating on James' nerves tonight more than it had any other time. Maybe it was because he was frustrated at everything else around him.

Lily looked at his hands slowly treating her welts, and he felt the heat of her stare travel through his body. Now was definitely not the night for _that_ to happen. But there seemed to be something akin to wonder in her eyes, and he felt his body heat and react to the force of her gaze – until she spoke.

"I've lost count." She nodded, almost for reassurance. "I've lost count how many times it's happened."

Everything had frozen, and his eyes were hot as he barely controlled his anger. "What do you mean?"

She looked at him as if the answer were obvious. "It's happened before. I just didn't go to you." When he continued to drill her with his stare, she continued. "I used to go to Alice and Mary. After a few weeks I think, Mary couldn't stand it anymore. She refused to help. So, Alice continued to help me for the next month or so. Finally, she had had enough as well. So, I went to the one person I knew would help me no matter what."

"Lily, I…"

"You've actually kept me sane, you know." A hollow laugh sifted through her throat. "It's hard to believe that you've kept me more sane now than Mary or Alice ever did."

"Then why are you still with him? Why do you let him do this to you? The Lily I know would never put up with this! Never!"

She flinched at his tone. "I guess… I guess I love him?"

"You guess?" James snorted, turning away from the girl sitting across from him. "Lily, there is no 'guess' in love. Either you do, or you don't. And what he's done to you is _not_ love."

"I guess it's debatable," she whispered. "We've had sex, you know."

Now that was a bit of a low blow. He felt jealousy well up inside of him, and he fought for control. "Really, now? And when was that?" His voice was harsh and bitter, and he was angry at the fact that she had so much leverage over his control.

Lily blushed. "Tonight."

"What?" he yelped.

"Well, I don't consider it sex, really, but he tried to… again… He tried to…" She couldn't seem to get the words out, and James had a sinking sensation that he knew what she was trying to say. Maybe bringing up sex was the only way she could get enough courage to tell him. He gulped and gave her a pained glance.

"He tried to force you?"

She nodded, the weight of her experience suddenly too much for her to bear. She reached forward and wrapped her arms around James' shoulders and cried into his nightshirt. He stroked her back in calming circles, all the while trying to help her feel better. His heart clenched; he hated seeing her like this.

"I didn't want to, not again!" she sobbed. His shirt muffled her cries, and he was angry at the way her body was shaking uncontrollably. When he saw him… He wasn't too sure what he would do, but he would definitely hurt him somehow. "I didn't want to, so he started to beat me. And before I ran out, I hit him back, and hexed him in the face."

It really was no time to be laughing, but it was funny. That was more like the Lily that he had grown to love. Yet as her sobs continued, he realized how serious it all was to her. And the more he touched her, the more he sensed that there weren't just bruises on her arms – there had to be bruises that he couldn't see as well.

He pushed her back so he could see her face, and she clung to his shirt as if her life depended on it. "Lily, you have other bruises, right?"

She looked ashamed, but nodded anyway. Slowly, he let his thumb caress her cheek, and smiled at the fact that she wasn't shying away. "He didn't actually… you know… did he?"

Her eyes seem to flutter closed in relief. "No," she whispered. "No, he didn't."

An overwhelming feeling of relief filled his entire being. He stared into her eyes, glad to see that although she was still crying, she seemed much more relieved, and her eyes were brighter than before. "Lily, please tell me how this all started."

She shuddered but didn't pull away. Her tortured gaze pained him, but he had to know. "Please, Lily?"

Finally, she bit her lip and nodded, more tears slipping from her eyes. "Um…" Her hand was shaking as she tried to place a lock of hair behind her ear, and James grabbed it, squeezing to give her strength. She gave him a quick, thankful smile.

"Well, I wasn't lying before when I said we had sex. We have… lots of times. But I think that's when it all started. After the first time, things seemed to get worse. He would always grip my arm so hard; he's actually broken it a few times…. He seemed to want to be with me like always, but it wasn't the same. He always wanted sex… The one time I was really bad when I came to you? Well, that was another instance. I was just afraid to tell you. I thought you'd… you'd refuse to help me if you knew what had happened… So I didn't tell you."

He could see the fear in her eyes. He knew that she was afraid that he'd turn her out any second and tell her to fend for herself. But she was so _lost_; he could never turn away from her, no matter how much he wanted to. Without her in his life, he wasn't James.

"Lily, I would never turn you away." His eyes were serious, intense, and fresh tears fell from her eyes as they seemed to snap to life.

"Why? Why not?" she suddenly spat at him, the venom behind her words completely contradicting her eyes' moisture. Her outburst even startled him, but she wasn't done. "Why do keep putting up with this? Why do you continue to let me come here like… like this? I—"

He placed a finger over her mouth, and gave her a tired, crooked smile. "I told you time and again in these last few years: I love you, Lily."

She shook her head, eyes wide as she seemed to desperately try to believe it wasn't true. "No… You… You can't love me. I'm… I'm so…"

"Lily." He smiled again, and she looked at him as if that simple statement made no sense at all. But it did to him. "You're just Lily," he shrugged.

"I don't deserve you as a friend," she mumbled. "I don't deserve you."

A small, easy laugh scraped from his throat. "Yeah, well… You're kinda stuck with me."

How often had he dreamed that Lily would admit that she had finally seen the light, and that she was so lucky he had liked her for so long, and still did? He scoffed at how childish those dreams had been. Ever since the first time she had come to him did he realize just how cruel the world was. It had no place for children and their dreams, and even though his heart still belonged to the redhead across from him, he had given up on the dreams at the start of term. Yet he still had hope – a small, tiny glimmer of hope as soft and silky yet as firm and strong as a single thread in his invisibility cloak – that maybe she would come to accept him as at least a friend. And, even though he hated the events that had brought her to him, he was still happy they were no longer fighting so much.

She shivered a bit, and he suddenly remembered the other bruises that had to dot her torso. He looked at her shirt, and she blushed under the scrutiny of his gaze. Slowly, she discarded the loose piece of fabric, wincing slightly when her arms were fully stretched above her head. His stomach clenched at the bruised but shallow gash on the right side of her waist. There was another bruise high on the left side of her ribcage underneath her black bra.

"Lily…"

"Don't," she cut him off. "Please, don't."

"Okay," James nodded, but his face was twisted in pain. He carefully used the cloth to clean the puffy and irritated skin, muttering a spell under his breath and pressing his wand to her side. It was actually a very useful spell; Sirius had discovered it when he had been trying to help James after Remus had hurt him on one of their midnight escapades. The spell gave off a cooling affect that helped to relieve swelling, and he saw a bit of the tension leave Lily's body. Carefully, he rubbed a bit more Dittany on the wound, trying to ignore the way touching her bare skin affected him.

"Thank you," she whispered, and his fingers lingered on her waist for a moment before he gently let them slip away. The broken notes in her voice were heart breaking, and he couldn't respond. So he shrugged.

A pale hand reach out and grabbed his wrist, and he couldn't bear the shattered expression in her shining emerald eyes. But somehow, she held his gaze, and he couldn't look away. "Really, James. Thank you."

He swallowed thickly. "I know."

Green eyes fell to the sheets on the bed before she picked up her gaze and stared at James as he touched her split lip. He smiled at her crookedly. "Just don't swallow this. I don't think it's meant for human consumption."

A small smile quirked her lips, and her eyes twinkled slightly. "Big words for you to use, James; and do you always wear your Quidditch shirt to bed?"

A blush colored his cheeks. "It's my lucky jersey. It's the one I wore at the last game when we beat Hufflepuff and won the Cup last year! Besides, we get new uniforms every term."

Lily raised her eyebrows, but shook her head and continued to gaze at the rich red sheets. Slowly, her small smile disappeared from her face, and James watched her turn her gaze back to him. She eyed him carefully, assessing him and everything about the situation. She bit her lip, and James fought the urge to grab hold of her and kiss her. He couldn't help but wonder what she had been through.

"Lily, do you know what it really means to be loved?"

He didn't mean to blurt it out, but he realized that he had to know. She seemed to look everywhere except where he was sitting, but finally, she nodded quietly, hands wringing together. But that wasn't the answer he wanted, so he leaned closer.

"No, Lily, I mean really loved. Like… Like making love – how it's supposed to be." He stared at her, knowing his gaze was hard and intense, and her eyes widened.

Wordlessly, she shook her head, and the look that entered her eyes was so lost he could almost feel her sense of helplessness. She leaned forward, hands clutching at his shirt. "James, will you show me? Please, just… love me?"

He couldn't deny her – not after everything she had been through. She looked so lost, so helpless, and all he wanted to do was to help her find her way back again, to help her find the old self that had been buried deep inside of her. He wasn't sure if he really could help her, but he was going to try.

"Lily…" he whispered, leaning closer as her wide eyes nervously searched his face. He knew the look on his face was probably one that she had come to fear, but he would show her how it was to truly be loved.

Carefully, he placed a hand on her cheek, and she flinched. He threw away the anger at the man that had made her so flighty, and caressed the skin with pad of his thumb. Her breath hitched as she looked at him, green eyes hazy. He tipped closer, slowly pressing his lips against hers. It was the lightest of kisses, meant to slowly coax her to him so that she was participating, too. He gently moved his mouth, letting her taste take control of him like some forbidden indulgence that he had been denied for too long.

What he didn't expect was her reaction. She suddenly pressed back with a strength he didn't know she had, her hands feverishly roaming his face and tangling in his hair as she leaned closer. He finally gave in, and let his fingers tighten on the curves of her waist. She gasped and pulled sharply on his hair.

"Please just love me," she whispered in between their passionate kisses. He nodded, pulling her closer to him. How could he deny her?

His fingers subtly cupped her hips, and he groaned at the soft, heated skin that met his touch. He worried that he was gripping her too hard, but she was pushing herself closer to him, and the thought was gone from his mind when her tongue gently slipped over his lips. He loosened his grip, letting his fingertips barely skim over her skin as he brushed his hands up and down her spine.

A breathless gasp filled his mouth as she kissed him, her body slowly coming undone under his ministrations. The tension was leaving her muscles as he felt fire seep into her pores. Her body arched delicately against him when he moved a fingertip over a small section of her stomach, and he felt the room in his boxers quickly disappear.

When he reached down and lightly cupped her derriere, her kiss became rougher, and he could almost taste the raw passion and want in the way her lips moved against his. He gripped her harder, feeling his body respond even more to the gasp that filled her mouth as her nails dug into his shoulders. He brought his hands back into her hair, wrapping his fingers with tufts of the red locks to bring her closer.

He let his hands slip down her back, skillfully unsnapping the bra that held her breasts captive. She held him to her, though, and he could feel her insecurity as if he could read her mind. But he couldn't stop himself. His hands roamed inward, feeling the crease in her skin as he caressed the base of her breasts.

She suddenly dislodged her hands from his hair, tugging at the hem of his shirt and hurriedly taking it off. For a moment, he was tangled, but her deft fingers got him out and tossed the fabric to the floor. He felt his stomach jump as her hands slowly explored the planes of his chest, down each bump of his abdomen and back up to trace over his muscled arms. Her eyes were too busy drinking in the sight of his bare chest, so he latched onto her neck, hot breath coasting over her skin. She shivered, and involuntarily raked her nails over his biceps.

Her head fell back as green eyes closed, whimpers and moans of sounds grating from her throat as he suckled on a spot just below her ear, bit the base of her collarbone, and gently kissed everywhere in between. He pulled back slowly, and when his hands found her breasts, she attacked his neck, biting on his earlobe and whimpering when a light touch sent shivers of pleasure racing down her spine.

James had never known that Lily would be like this. She had always been so reserved with her feelings (except for her anger), and the way she touched him now and set his blood on fire blew his mind. Her lips were pressed firmly onto his, and he couldn't believe how wonderful it felt to have her nails dragged down his back. Everything about her was amazing, and he fingered the waistband of her pants, hesitantly sliding them and her panties down over her hips.

She made no move to stop him but dipped her hands into his boxers. His entire body shuddered and convulsed as her hand barely grazed the base of his shaft, and he grabbed onto her waist as if she were the only thing that would be able to hold him up. His chest heaved as he pulled back, gazing into bright but determined emerald eyes. He quickly dislodged himself of his boxers, a hand gently caressing her face as she looked at him.

Their passion seemed to have suddenly slowed, and he hovered over her, softly pressing her onto her back. He buried his head into the crook of her shoulder, the weight on his chest suddenly too much to bear. There were so many things he wanted to tell her, and he whispered them as his lips skated over her shoulders, up her neck and across her chest. He felt the wetness before he saw it, and quickly used his thumb to wipe the tears away.

"I'm so sorry, James," she whispered brokenly. "I thought… I didn't know you…"

"Shh," he murmured, tenderly kissing her eyes as he felt himself at apex of her sex. He could feel her heart fluttering in her chest, and he held her gaze, making sure he had captured all of her attention. "I love you." He knew she could tell that he meant it.

His lips pressed against hers as he eased inside her. She gasped sharply, breaking their lips' connection as she threw her head back, body arching into him as her nails scraped over his skin. He knew he had to be careful, and he gritted his teeth. She felt like liquid fire that had suddenly consumed him, and it threatened to break his control. Slowly and carefully, he pulled out, her thighs tightening against him as he eased back inside of her.

Gradually, he built a slow tempo, capturing her lips again as she began to rock her hips in time with his movements. She moaned into his mouth, her body suddenly rigid as intense pleasure shocked her system. Her nails were drawing thin lines over his back, but it sent a jolt of pleasure through his body. He slowed for a moment, rolling his hips as he felt her muscles clutching him closer. A small cry left her throat, and she grasped onto him and clamped her mouth on the junction of his shoulder to muffle her cries as he rolled his hips again.

This time, he shoved into her, pressing himself against her as far as he could go. A muted scream echoed in his ears, and she threw her head back. She hooked her ankles over his waist, arching into him as the pleasure shattered through her and a small cry left her lips. The rhythmic clenching of hidden muscles tightened around him, and he came with her.

The haze of pleasure surrounded them like a protective bubble, and he gently eased himself out of her. Moonlight made the sweat shine on her body like a milky sheen, and he dragged the covers over the two of them. "I love you," he whispered again, kissing her lightly and lovingly. "Don't go. Stay with me."

She didn't answer. He sighed heavily, pressing his face into a pillow and painfully withdrawing his arms from around her form.

"Okay."

The whispered acquiescence dangled in the darkness like a thick cloud. Until the tiniest of smiles lifted the corners of her lips. James smiled as she scooted closer to him, nuzzling her nose into his chest. He knew she would probably be gone in the morning; she always was. But that didn't matter. He would never let anyone hurt her again.

She quickly fell asleep, and he watched her until he couldn't keep his eyes open any longer as she rested in the warmth of his embrace.

**A/N:** Ah, yes, well, I'm rather surprised at myself for writing a good sex scene. It's good for me at least. It's honestly the first one that I've ever written, and I think it was quite good. Let me know if you guys liked it or not! I really do hope it wasn't corny or anything. I thought it was quite sweet. However, please give me feedback on what you thought, and chapter 2 will be on its way soon!

- wolf's paradise


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Well, hello again! I actually did like this chapter, though it was a bit of a challenge to write. I wrote most of it while listening to tracks 4 – 7 from the Avatar soundtrack. Ah, awesome music! I love it all! Then again, this chapter does seem just a bit cheesy, even to me, but hopefully you guys like it =).

Just so you guys know, this is going to be a short story, about four chapters. It shouldn't be any more than that just because it's a simple story that was stuck in my mind. Still, I hope you guys like it. I know the characters aren't exactly canon, especially Lily, but I tried to make James and the others as personality-true as possible.

And of course, thank you my two reviewers that have reviewed so far =).

Chapter Two

The light coursing through the window seemed much too bright at this time of the morning. Granted, he had no idea what time "this time" was, but he wanted to remain asleep, to cling to the vestiges of the most wonderful and realistic dream he had ever dreamt. It hovered over his consciousness like a cloud of hazy warmth, and he snuggled deeper into the pillow beneath his head.

A small, tinkling laughter echoed through his ears, and his eyes shot open. He blinked, utterly astounded at the sight that greeted his eyes. Lily's face was upside-down, and the pillow under his head was apparently her lap. Her red hair glinted in the sunlight, and he smiled at the fact that she was wearing his red and gold Quidditch jersey. Lily's hands were gently sifting through his hair, and he looked at her face, lively and happy – so different from last night.

Last night.

He froze, worriedly glancing at the green-eyed girl looking down at him. She was wearing nothing but his Quidditch shirt, and he suddenly realized that there was nothing covering his body. He took his head out of Lily's lap and sat against the pillows, trying to keep as much of himself covered as possible as he removed himself from the girl in his bed. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, trying – but not succeeding – to keep his eyes off of the beautiful girl in his shirt.

"Um…"

Lily gently shook her head, placing a slim finger on his lips. "Shh," she whispered. A smile flitted onto her lips, and leaned over, capturing his lips with hers. She leaned back, gaze involuntarily tracing down his chest and beneath the comforter. James smiled as a deep blush heated her cheeks. It seemed as if all his questions about last night had been answered.

She blushed again as her gaze traveled under the covers, and she quickly stood from the bed. "I think we should get something to eat."

"Oh, right!" he laughed, throwing back the covers and stretching before heading to the door. A small giggle stopped him, and he turned back with a questioning gaze. Lily's cheeks were bright red, but her eyes dancing.

"James, you… um… you might want to wear something."

He glanced down, cheeks burning as he realized what he had just been about to do. Lily's fingers twisted in his Quidditch jersey as she motioned to the door. "I'm just… going to go get some shorts."

James nodded, hurriedly going through his drawers when she left. He couldn't believe he had been about to walk outside naked, but he quickly threw on some shorts and a t-shirt. Though it was winter, the castle was kept relatively warm – courtesy of magic no doubt. It would be impossible to keep the entire castle heated without magic.

Lily walked through the door, and true to her word, all she had changed about her outfit were shorts. One couldn't quite see them – his Quidditch jersey fell almost to the middle of her thighs – but they were there nonetheless. He noticed that she had fixed her hair (before it had been pleasantly rumpled), but other than that she looked like she had just woken up. She looked beautiful.

"So, how about the kitchens? I know a few of the elves there since it's… almost noon and the Great Hall will probably be filled with Merlin knows what."

Her eyes tightened, and she looked down for a moment. "Thank you, James."

He smiled and grabbed her hand, motioning for her to be silent. "We have to be sneaky going down to the kitchens, though, see. The Heads are off duty but the teachers are roaming the halls, not to mention those Slytherins are down near the kitchens. So. Stealthy, okay?" he nodded, and wasted no time in quickly stepping through the portrait hole and slinking down the hall.

Before long, they had quickly descended the moving staircase, took the long route that bypassed the Ravenclaw dormitories, and ended up outside of a painting of fruit. James smiled and pointed to it, and Lily's face twisted quizzically.

"James, what…?"

He leaned forward and pressed a finger onto the side of the largest fruit: a pear. Lily gasped when it giggled, and the portrait swung open to reveal the very large and well-stocked kitchens. House elves were suddenly bustling about, hurrying over to the two wizards that had entered their place of work. James laughed and introduced Lily and the elves to each other.

"This is Sonny, and last but not least, there's Rudy and Ruby, twins actually. Very rare that you find house elf twins."

Lily gave a small bow. "It's wonderful to meet all you."

"Thank you, Miss Lily. And thank you, Master James, for introducing us to such a wonderful witch," an elf by the name of Muddy said bashfully.

"Muddy, how many times have I asked you guys to call me James?"

"Protocol, Master James. Please forgive us," Rudy and Ruby muttered at the same time and bowed low, the other elves brushing their fingers together, obviously hopeful that they hadn't offended him.

"Of course, of course. But uh… Do you think you guys could make us some breakfast? Lily and I are starved," he said excitedly, winking at all of them. With a large chorus of "Yes, Master" and "Coming right up, Master" the elves set to work, burning more coal in a few of the fireplaces and fixing up the remainder of what hadn't been used during breakfast.

Lily ate more than James had seen her eat since a few months into seventh year, and the house elves seemed more than pleased that she had liked their cooking so much. After waving goodbye to the elves, James led Lily from the kitchens and back to the Head's Dormitory on the seventh floor.

The entire time, Lily seemed lost in thought, not even noticing that he had been gone for five minutes waiting for the tub in the bathroom to fill completely. He stepped back into the room, frowning slightly at the blank look on her face. A mild sort of fear fluttered in his chest, but he squashed it down, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey. Lily? I think I should take a look at your bruises. Just to make sure they're all right," he said quietly, looking into her lost and troubled eyes.

She nodded wordlessly, removing his Quidditch shirt from her form but keeping her eyes away from his piercing gaze. He moved mechanically to check her wounds, desperately trying to keep his thoughts from wandering to the night before. She hadn't put on a bra underneath his shirt, and his fingers ached to move over the soft flesh. But he quickly glanced at the expression in her eyes, and all was forgotten. Whatever was plaguing her thoughts would be voiced soon; he was sure of it. He had spent too much time with Lily Evans to guess otherwise.

Most of her bruises were gone and healed; the skin where they had been was a bit discolored, but she didn't flinch when he touched them. The cut on her waist was completely healed, the spell he had used working out most of the damage. Once finished, he pushed a bit of her red hair out of her face.

"Come on," he whispered.

It took her a moment, and when he saw her eyes, his heart clenched. "Where?"

"Just follow me," he managed to smile. She quickly threw on his Quidditch jersey again and obeyed, following him to the bathroom and gasping when she saw the warm bath still emitting steam. James felt relieved at her reaction, but knew that if he stayed, his body would definitely wreak havoc on his mind.

"So, I'll just let you bathe by yourself. I'll be in my room if you need me."

"James, wait!" she cried. He had started to back away, but she had whirled around, grabbing onto his wrist as if he would disappear right before her eyes. "Stay. Please?"

He nodded mutely, stripping off his clothes as she quickly took off hers and stepped into the bath. She reached back, grasping his hand and pulling him into the tub with her. He moved to the other side, respectful of her space, but she moved over to sit in between his legs and pillow her head on his chest. He started to wrap his arms around her waist when she suddenly pulled away.

Green eyes stared at the water before she quickly glanced at him. The words flew from her mouth like a whirlwind, like if she was afraid she didn't say them, she never would. "James, I'm using you. I'm using you. All of this," she gestured to the bath and his bedroom, "is nothing. Meaningless. A lie."

She sounded in pain, and he moved over to her, lifting her dropped chin with his hand. "I know." He was surprised that he had been expecting it, but hadn't she also said that he could sometimes see her too well?

She flinched at his acquiescence, and the curiosity – and the anger – was evident in her burning gaze. He shrugged. "I love you, Lily." He let a moment pass for his words to sink into her mind, and smiled crookedly. "I also know that last night wasn't nothing. It wasn't meaningless to you. And you weren't lying."

A gasp flitted through her lips as his hand gently cupped her face, and his thumb caressed her cheeks as silent tears fell from shining green eyes. He could tell that this was what had tormented her conscious; no matter what she had wanted, last night was changing everything about them.

"Oh, James, thank you!" she cried softly, throwing her arms around him and burying her face in the crook of his neck. He held her, fingers drawing calming circles over her spine. He rocked her gently, smiling despite himself.

"Like I told you before, Lily. You're kinda stuck with me," he whispered, and she let out a laugh, teardrops plinking onto his chest. This time, he knew that her tears were not caused by sadness, and he felt his heart soar.

* * *

She hid a small laugh behind her hand as she watched James attempting to practice his Charms lessons that had been assigned over the break. Every time he wouldn't get it right, he'd grit his teeth and mumble something about Merlin and other curse words that could be assigned to the short and stubby Flitwick that had mercilessly given all the seventh years a pile of ridiculously hard homework.

He was moving his hand entirely the wrong way, but she liked watching him. She couldn't believe he had read her so well; it had been difficult trying to convince herself how wrong it all felt. But no matter what she thought and knew, it didn't change the way her memories seemed to set her blood on fire at the thought of him touching her. Last night had been so different from the James that she had seen during the day.

In all her years of being around the Quidditch player, she had always known him to be arrogant and a womanizer. Sirius was definitely more so than he, but she had still seen the way the girls flocked around him like love struck grindylows (which was, by the way, a very odd sight to see). He had never turned down the attention, but he had never quite accepted it, either. James had had a few girlfriends – four to be exact. Two in fifth year, one in sixth year, and one for three days in the middle of this first term.

She blushed at the thought of her counting. She remembered feeling this, the strange sensation that she would explode if he didn't want to be with her. Maybe that was why she had agreed to go out with Randy. She looked at the calendar next to James' bed, and imagined the pages flipping back. It had been at the time that James had gone out with Vanessa the Slut, or that's what Lily and her friends had called the girl.

But last night had changed everything. She had thought that James would put up with healing her until he, too, would tell her he had had enough, but he didn't. He had never turned her away, and last night… She gazed at him, trying to fathom how passionately and how wonderfully he had loved her last night. Never in any of the times with Randy had he loved her like James had. When Randy said he loved her, she realized now how empty those words had been. But when James said he loved her, his eyes, his hands, and his mouth did, too.

Shaking her head, she stood and made her way over to him. She hadn't realized that this feeling was the same as the one earlier in the year. But she knew that she didn't want anyone else to have him. She wanted him now and forever. She wanted him to be with her and to protect her, and she wanted to be there for him, and to love him and protect him like he had done for her.

Placing a hand on his, she lowered the arm that was in the air. "You're not giving it enough movement. In Transfiguration, a wrist movement is hardly needed. But for Charms, it's all in the flourish, but don't make it too flashy." She looked at him to make sure he had understood, but he was simply staring at her. She couldn't look away.

Only now did she realize how beautiful his eyes were. They were hazel, but the flecks of brown on the outside were like light milk chocolate that blended into sweet toffee with swirls of straw yellow, and there were tufts of almond stringing from rich obsidian pupils. Only now did she see the fire deep in his gaze as he took in what she was wearing. A blush colored her cheeks. His Quidditch shirt was the only thing in which she was dressed, but she doubted that there were boxers underneath his shorts.

She couldn't look away. His gaze seemed to hold her captive, and her stomach warmed as she continued to look at him. Not once had she ever seen him look at another girl like this. The intensity had never been there before when he had looked at Catherine or Vanessa; it was almost too much to bear. Why hadn't she realized this before? He wanted her desperately – she could see it in his eyes.

The warmth seeped lower. She wanted him, too. Merlin, she wanted him more than she thought possible. He was holding himself back, and she knew why. He was waiting for her to make the first move, for her to actually want to be with him. But she did want him. Only him. She wanted him in her life, in her heart, and in every part of her there was.

Finally, she managed to tear her gaze from his. This was no time to regret the fact that she had never fully realized James until now. Now was not the time to regret the fact that he seemed to make her feel more loved than anyone ever had. Now was not the time to regret hating him for most of her life. Nor would there ever be time for regrets. She had to live for the present, and for the future. And both were standing right in front of her.

A small, soft hand tenderly touched his bare back in between his shoulder blades, and she felt his toned body stiffen. She gently placed a kiss on his shoulder, slowly moving around to place another kiss on his right shoulder blade and another on the left one. Her hands changed, and she slid the right one down his spine as her lips touched the muscles on his left shoulder.

She stopped in front of him, leaning down to kiss each pectoral. She couldn't miss his sharp intake of breath and how his wand had seemed to clatter to the floor a few moments earlier. Her hands slid up to his neck, and her fingers wound in his hair.

"I want you, James," she whispered, letting the truth of her words echo through her eyes. He seemed shocked, whether it was due to her words or her actions, she wasn't quite sure. But she knew that he wanted her, too.

"Lily…" His voice trembled, and she could see him fighting for control.

"Only you, and all of you," she said softly, closing her eyes and pressing her forehead to his warm chest. She had no idea how safe a place he could be until last night, when his hands had left trails of fire on her skin and his mouth had whispered so many precious things. She felt so safe with him, and even now, as he snaked his arms hesitantly around her waist and she looked up to see his gaze heavy with want, she felt safe in his arms. _He_ was safety.

All she could do was stare, waiting for his acquiescence, when he suddenly bent down, smashing his lips onto hers.

"I love you," he said fiercely, but it made her body shudder. She gasped when his hands reached underneath the jersey and lightly skimmed her bare bottom. He picked her up, and she willingly wrapped her legs around his waist as he stumbled over to the bed. She didn't know when they hit the mattress; all she knew were the hands that were touching her everywhere her body craved.

His lips created hot kisses all over her skin, and she couldn't help but arch helplessly as he made the wonderful pleasure flood her senses. She had never known that there could be this kind of passion and love in an act such as this. Randy had always said that she was never skinny enough or that her breasts were a bit too small. But the way that James touched her, kissed her, made her feel so much more. To him, everything was perfect. Her skin was amazing, her breasts were perfect, and she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.

"I love you," he whispered again.

"I know," she nodded. And she did. His mouth never lied about that. His eyes, his touch, his kiss echoed that same sentiment even stronger than his mouth did.

When he entered her, she cried out, pleasure licking through her like an uncontrollable fire. She squirmed as the feeling threatened to overtake her, until it shattered her body and she was left breathless. She smiled at him, and he smiled back, but she knew it was far from over.

She wasn't sure how long they continued to make love. All she knew were the powerful moments of ecstasy broken by the gentleness of his kiss or the way he held her after they had both gone over the edge. Sunlight slowly disappeared from the window to be replaced by darkness, and finally, James rested next to Lily, head buried in the crook of her neck and black hair matted with sweat.

She leaned into her him, her body just as sweaty as his. He nuzzled her gently, raining light kisses on her face in the after-effects of their post-coupling. She smiled and laughed gently, the sound much happier than she had heard it in a long time. She stroked her fingers through his wet hair, unable to wipe the smile off of her face.

"I'm starving. We should probably eat."

"Kitchens, again?" he smiled, and she nodded, quickly throwing on her shorts and his Quidditch jersey as they sneaked into the kitchens for food. After hurrying back upstairs, Lily flopped onto the bed, her muscles tired from the day's exertions. But when she saw the look on James' face, she smiled back, her stomach fluttering and the warmth in her core spreading as if she hadn't just had sex all day.

She blushed and sat up, eyeing the man in front of her. He was everything that she had ever wanted as a little girl that had dreamed about love and fairytales, and she couldn't believe that the man she loved had appeared as the one and only James Potter. Mary and Alice would surely be surprised.

Lily gasped. Mary and Alice! She hadn't seen them in two days! They were probably wondering where she was, or what had happened! She glanced furtively at the door, apprehension blooming on her face, and James was suddenly in front of her, hands on her shoulders.

"He won't be able to get in here, Lily. He can't hurt you anymore."

A small smile lifted her lips. Though that wasn't the problem, she was grateful. "No, it's not that. I haven't seen Alice or Mary in two days and they might be extremely worried… I normally show up the next afternoon…"

James looked disappointed, but she reached up and cupped his cheek. "They'll be all right, though. I want to spend time with you." She knew the word was on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't want to say anything. Right now, she was still afraid that something would happen that would make him leave.

He seemed to understand what was going through her mind and smiled. "Lily, I will never leave you. You know that. And I love you. You know that, too. I won't disappear or change if you happen to want to be with me. Well, I might," he said as an afterthought, and her eyes widened.

"I'll probably bug you more, propose to you, that sort of thing."

For a moment, Lily couldn't speak. Then she swallowed, large green eyes staring intently into honest hazel ones. "James, I… Thank you." His smile grew, and he looked as if she had just made him the happiest person alive. She gave a small giggle that only grew until she was laughing as James twirled her around the room.

Once he set her down, she knew that this was right, that being with him was what she needed and wanted. He was her ground for standing, something that she could hold on to without worrying he'd disappear.

"Lily," he murmured, gazing heavily into her eyes as he softly pushed her against the bed and proceeded to make love again. This time, it was slow and torturous, the kind that drove her crazy with want and yet it all refused to fulfill her need. She could barely contain her screams as the pace frustrated her yet made her body pulse with fire. She reciprocated, doing everything in her power to drive him crazy. Her hands and mouth were everywhere, and it was like a slow, silent battle to see who could bring the other to climax first. Lily screamed, the orgasm shattering through her system the most powerful she'd ever had.

Both were out of breath, and he pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her like a shelter. She smiled, snuggling into his warm chest. "James," she whispered, unable to keep the happiness from her voice. "I'm happy. I really am happy." She gazed into his hazel eyes, even if she couldn't see them too well without light. The smile that grew on her lips could have put the sun to shame.

"I love you, Lily," he said softly, and she sighed pleasantly, her mind soon drifting off into sleep.

**A/N:** So, what do you guys think? I hope it doesn't sound too cheesy… I actually quite liked it. I think it'd be fun to do this sort of thing haha! Well, let me know what you guys think: good and bad criticism. I will reply if you have questions or if I just want to clear some stuff up =D.

- wolf's paradise


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** Ah, here's chapter three! I was excited to write this one even though it was mostly during my 8 am class that I could hardly stay awake for…lol! And I'm so sorry that this is ridiculously late! I finished most of the chapter and then muse became non-existent for this story, so then it just got put on the backburner, but I am trying to get this finished asap so that you guys can have a nice completed story to read.

By the way, if you guys have any questions about Lily's personality or actions in the first two chapters, this chapter answers those questions.

* * *

Chapter 3

When she woke the next morning, her stomach growled as the scent of hot, delicious food wafted through her senses. She squinted against the light shining through the window, glancing around the room only to see it was empty. For a moment, her chest tightened in fear until the bathroom door opened and James stepped out, shirtless and clad only in boxers. She blushed.

Lily leaned back into the bed and watched him lazily attempt to find some clothes. "Good morning," she mumbled with a sleepy smile. It seemed as if recently she couldn't stop smiling.

James whirled, eyes brightening and a slow smile spreading across his face as he looked at her in his bed. "Good morning," he greeted back, stepping to her side. He bent over, kissing her languidly as her fingers wound in his hair. "I brought you breakfast."

She nodded. "I saw. Thank you. But…" Her voice trailed off as she glanced toward the nightstand on which the food rested. Her eyebrows rose, and James blushed as his eyes averted her gaze.

"I'm sorry," he blurted. "I was starving and it just smelled so good…"

Lily laughed. The look on his face was priceless. She sat up, pushing the covers off of her legs and leaning close to gently kiss his lips. For a moment he was surprised, but she pulled back before he could respond. Her hand cupped his cheek, a sad, nervous sort of smile trailing over her face. "It's okay, James. I… I was going to say that I think it's time we went to eat in the Great Hall."

He tilted toward her, hazel eyes intense as his hands caressed her face, sifted through her hair. "Lily, are you sure? I mean, he could be there…"

"I know." Her voice shook slightly, but her eyes were determined. "But I'll be all right if you're there." Cheeks reddened and green eyes fell to the sheets, but she felt a gentle hand lift her chin.

"I would never leave you, Lily. Never. I've been through this because I love you. I _won't_ leave you."

She couldn't doubt the sincerity in his eyes. She leaned into him, sighing in relief and resting her head against his chest. However, despite the seriousness of the situation, her nose scrunched and she turned away from him. "You stink. You really need to take a shower."

He smirked and pressed his nose against hers, causing her body to sink back into the mattress. "And for good reason."

An embarrassed blush spread furiously across her cheeks and down her neck as she remembered yesterday's activities. She glanced up, only to see his eyes hazy with lust. Her tongue darted over her lips as she gazed the length of his body, feeling her stomach heat and clench with anticipation.

Suddenly, he darted in, capturing her lips in a fiery kiss. She responded, pressing against him in an attempt to get closer. His lips moved to her neck, gently skimming the skin's surface and sending shivers down her spine. She gasped when his fingertips brushed her stomach as he lifted the jersey from her torso. He shifted, settling in between her thighs, the feel of him against her sending a fire of anticipation and want clawing through her system.

Her body ached, craving more than his touch. She had to stop, but she couldn't. He made her feel everything she had ever wanted, but it wasn't just that. She supposed it started when her impression of him began to change somewhere in the middle of sixth year, but like the stubborn girl she was she had refused to admit it. At the beginning of seventh year, she had found herself admiring the easy way he walked, or the effortless way he rode a broom, or how he always seemed to mess up his hair just the right way to make her heart flutter. She hadn't realized how much she really valued his friendship until he had agreed to help her, and until now.

His lips traced her collarbone, and she shivered under the touch. Something pressured her chest – words unspoken, realizations that she wasn't sure he knew, but she had to say them anyway.

"James," she whispered hoarsely, unaware of the thick emotion covering the name. He stopped for a moment, looking at her carefully.

She gasped and arched into him when his hips shifted again. Her body was way too hypersensitive to him, too alive and writhing under his touch and his gaze. Need screamed through her veins, but she forced the fog of pleasure away from her brain. She had to tell him.

"James, I don't… I don't want you to think that _this_," her eyes darted to his, hoping he could see the sincerity in her gaze, "is all I want. I want… more. I want… everything." She felt embarrassed, and at his lack of response she knew her statement had definitely been too bold. But she did. This feeling consuming her wasn't fleeting – at least not to her. She wanted to hold him, to love him, to be everything to him.

He stared, the look in his eyes unfathomable. Finally, his lips parted. "Lily," he groaned, letting his head rest in the crook of her shoulder. He seemed to be panting, and his hands were clenched into fists next to her arms. She felt her chest pound with worry. Had she said something wrong?

"I'm sorry," she said softly, her neck heating in a blush. "I shouldn't have said…" she trailed off, her thoughts taking over speech. Why was she apologizing? If there was anything she had learned in her time with James, it was to never be afraid of what she really wanted. Especially—

"Lily," James whispered, breath ghosting over her neck. All thought ceased; every sensor in her body was attuned to James and what he would say. His lips brushed her cheek until his searing gaze burned into her eyes. A crazy, crooked sort of smile suddenly brightened his entire face. "Do you know how long I've waited for you to say that?"

She blinked, completely taken aback. "What?"

"I want everything," he stated, repeating her own words, and her eyes widened at the implication. "I want everything you'll give me. I want all of you, Lily. Everything."

With that last statement he dipped in, claiming her lips as he had never before. His mouth was soft on hers, gently coaxing her to follow him, yet she had never felt his sheer possessiveness and want before. It made her pulse race, and fire tingled over her body as skin met skin. She suddenly realized how much he had been holding back.

Even the night she had come to him for help, and especially yesterday, he had held back, never forcing her to do anything against her will, or even to accept him. But now he knew. Now he knew that she wanted him – everything he had – and his body, his mouth, and his hands were staking their claim.

"James," she whispered, voice laced with amusement. "Shower."

He chuckled. "That bad, huh?"

She nodded, making a point of wrinkling her nose and staring at him with mild disgust. He pouted, the look on his face too funny to resist for long. She laughed, but playfully shoved him away with a mumbled, "Go," pointing to the bathroom and pulling the Quidditch jersey back over her hips.

He sighed, but stepped into the bathroom and shut the door. Lily exhaled a breath, falling back against the mattress and pillows. She should be afraid. She should be afraid to admit that she loved James, to even think the word after everything that had happened, to fear that everything would just crumble around her again. Yet she couldn't bring herself to be afraid. _He_ was the earth underneath her feet. He was safety, the firm ground that she could hold on to and never fear that it would fall. Her heart felt like it was flying when she was with James.

There was really only one thing it could be, and she'd be a fool not to admit it. Nothing this powerful had ever consumed her before – not hatred (for his annoyingly persistent personality), not annoyance (for his ridiculous antics), not jealousy (for his apparent _gift_ of attracting very beautiful but very slutty girls). He simply had to appear in front of her, and her cheeks would redden, her eyes would travel to the top of his pants, and that familiar ache in her chest was back. It intensified when he touched her, when his fingertips sent fiery trails racing across her skin, and she knew that her world would crumble if he stopped loving her, if he disappeared.

Her head turned, listening to the calming spray of the shower water. It would be faster if she joined him, and another blush crept up her cheeks as she imagined him without boxers. She quickly stood, not completely understanding everything about this situation, but she knew what she wanted.

She moved toward the shower, a hand coming to rest against her abdomen as a blaring ache shot through her lower half. A wry smile twisted her lips, a blush creeping up her neck and to her cheeks. She remembered being with Randy, but it seemed like a distant memory, like the time with James had somehow been a month's worth of healing instead of the two nights it had really been. But at the thought of James her stomach coiled and twisted in pleasure and pain. James and Randy didn't just have different personalities. Apparently, size really did matter.

She tiptoed into the shower, gingerly pulling back the curtain. His glasses were off, as they had been for most of the time they had spent together. He turned, frozen with his hands in his shampooed hair and the front of him facing the showerhead. She giggled, trying to hide the heat saturating her body with lust. She pointed to the shower, the smile still on her face.

"Care for company?"

His exuberant smile was enough of an answer. She dislodged the Quidditch jersey, carefully stepping into the shower's warm spray. After rinsing, his hands immediately found her waist, pulling her closer, and she tried to ignore the ache in her core. She knew it was more than just pain. It was as if her body ached without him inside her, begging to have him fill her over and over.

Wet hair was plastered onto James' smiling face, and she tried to reign in her control. But the bastard licked his lips, leaning down to kiss her so softly that he made it hard to keep herself from jumping him right then and there. She didn't care if she was sore; she would definitely be willing to bear it if it meant James was inside of her, loving her and her alone.

The warmth disappeared from her lips, and she frowned, eyes opening to find him smiling at her with that crooked grin. She stared, wondering why he had pulled away. Noticing her serious expression, his smile faltered, and his face was serious. Slowly, he pressed closer to her, maneuvering her against the shower tile, one hand on her waist and the other on her face. She shivered when the length of him grazed her core, head falling back as a soft moan parted her lips.

He groaned, eyes closing for a moment before he stared back at her. "Lily, I want you to be mine. Will you…?"

She could _feel_ the heat of his gaze, like it was setting each of her nerves on fire. Her lips trembled, but words failed her. She only hoped he could see it in her eyes.

He leaned closer, voice deeper, lips finding her neck as his hips bumped against hers, erection sliding over her heat as her legs shuddered. "I want," he continued slowly, "to be able to kiss you whenever I want." His mouth covered hers, leading her through a light but passionate kiss. "I want to touch you whenever I want," he whispered against her lips. His hands ghosted over her arms, her body shivering despite the warm shower and his equally warm body over hers. "And…" he said softly, lips finding her ear and breathing gently against it, the pain and pleasure in her lower abdomen jolting in response to his ministrations. "I want to be inside you whenever I want."

She wanted to answer – she really did. But he thrust inside of her without waiting for her response. She cried out as the pleasure smacked through her, her head cracking against the tile as he thrust into her again. He must have taken her scream as a yes, because he pushed deeper, harder, one hand roughly grasping her hair and the other digging its fingers into her waist as his body shoved her harder against the wall.

This was so much more, so much so that she doubted she could hold on. Yesterday, love had been slow but amazing, and it had made her realize this was what she wanted. It had been healing, adjustment, but this… This was so different. The fierceness of her need was more than she had ever known, but it wasn't just that. The passion was so much more, too, his touch creating fiery patterns over her skin as her ankles hooked behind his waist, her body unable to get enough of him, to be close enough. He was being rough with her, a hand pulling her hair, the other making marks in her skin as he gripped her waist. His hips angled roughly, pounding into her harder and harder, making her short moans grow until they were cries of pleasure.

Randy had been rough with her – almost like this. He had pulled her hair, thrusting into her with all his power, but this was different. So, so different. James' love was clear, but it was the _way_ his body covered hers, the _way_ his hands alternated between her hair, her face, her breasts and her waist, and it was the _way_ that he filled her, over and over again until she couldn't think through the pleasure. She could _feel_ his love in every one of his touches. And it was different because he wanted everything and she wanted everything, too. It was as if he had thrown her a rope, and she was finally climbing out of the hole in which she had let herself be trapped. She was finally herself again.

She stiffened, tightening around him as he continued, her body pressed so hard against the tiles that she thought she was a part of them. Her thighs clenched around his waist, her climax close. Nails dug tiny slits in his shoulder, her throat hoarse from her own screams as he drove in and out. She was so close, hovering over the edge, and her eyes opened, looking into his as he thrust again, her gaze shuddering as her body threatened to let go.

Time seemed to slow as she gazed into his eyes. She leaned forward, pressing him back with a heated kiss of her own, staking _her_ claim, her teeth biting onto his lower lip to tell him that he was _hers_, her nails scraping over his back to bring him closer, deeper, letting him know that he belonged to _her_, inside of _her_.

He thrust once more, rolling his hips with the action as her head slammed back, the scream piercing the bathroom as her climax shattered through her. She barely registered her own spasms as he released, too, clutching onto her as if she were the only thing that would hold him. She melted against him, head falling to his shoulder as her legs felt like jelly around his waist.

"Lily," he whispered, pressing soft kisses against her neck as he repeated her name over and over again.

Her lips gently responded, his name the only word on her tongue as the vestiges of her release still pulsed through her system. Her hands played with strands of his wet hair, reminding her that they were still in the shower and the water was still running. Sweat had mixed with the dry droplets, creating a sticky mess as she loosened her legs and let them drop to the tiled floor. Her body jolted, hypersensitive after her climax, and she suddenly realized that he was still inside of her. The release of her legs had repositioned him, causing pleasure to race through her veins as he seemed deeper and thicker than before.

Gently, he eased out of her, her body protesting at the lack of contact, but her lungs were quite thankful. She was panting, and he was, too, but he managed to plaster a crooked grin on his face.

"Now do we take a shower?" His voice was sultry and his eyes were dark, a suggestion in and of themselves, but she simply nodded. She would definitely be willing to bear the ache in her core, but her legs could hardly support her and she was trying to catch her breath.

So, she looked up at him, knowing her eyes were just as dark as his. "Yeah," she swallowed. "That's probably a good idea."

* * *

After the shower she had gone to her room for a moment to put on her favorite pair of black lounge pants beneath his Quidditch jersey. He knew they were her favorite pair simply because she wore them almost as much as her school uniform. Then again, he had stared at her enough in the Common Room to memorize almost everything she wore.

He turned back to his drawers, throwing a pair of his sweat pants on the floor, trying to ignore the girl sitting silently on his bed. But he couldn't. He could feel her eyes on him, her gaze burning a hole in the back of his head. His blood heated as he searched a T-shirt, finding a plain white one and slipping it over his head. Fingers grasped the pants, a strange chill shivering down his spine as he turned his head, his eyes locking with her green ones.

In that moment, he saw everything he had ever wanted to see and so much more. Her emerald eyes were dark, and her tongue darted over her lips, causing his lower half to tremble with expectation. He bit back a groan, shoving his pants over his hips to hide his growing reaction. What was this girl doing to him? All it took was on heated look, one glimpse of her teasing, pink tongue, one glance at a blush painting her cheeks a pretty crimson, and he was gone.

He heard her slide off the bed, but he didn't look at her, tugging on his socks in an effort to ignore the clench of his stomach. A soft hand touched the small of his back, and he stiffened. The fingers traced patterns on the cotton in between their skin, and his legs shook when he met her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. Her hands continued to stroke his back.

"For what?" he managed.

She dipped her head, her eyes coming back to meet his. There was shyness and passion in their depths, her gaze also questioning the appropriateness of her gesture as her fingers tugged at the hem of his shirt until they met his heated skin. When he made no move to stop her, she mumbled quietly, "The lines on your back."

He blinked. He hadn't even noticed they were there, but whether his skin shivered in pain or pleasure as Lily brushed her fingertips over his back he didn't know. All he knew was the girl in front of him, green eyes clouded with want. Suddenly, she seemed to remember what she was doing, and backed away, cheeks flaming. She mumbled something about the door, and he nodded dumbly.

But as she unlocked the door and reached to turn the knob, he stopped her, his fingers light on her arm. Still, he couldn't mistake the look that flashed through her eyes, and he knew it wasn't just him. She stepped against the wall, but it wasn't out of fear. Her eyes were wide and her breath fast, and as he pressed closer he could almost feel her heartbeat. He touched his lips to her neck, feeling the racing pulse through the soft skin. A gentle moan sifted through her throat.

Her hands grabbed his hair, pulling his head up so she could mesh his lips with hers. He tried to go slowly, but she wasn't having any part of it. Her mouth moved against his furiously as her hips shifted, desperate to be closer as her hands fumbled with the bottom of his T-shirt.

"Hey, James—"

The new voice startled both of them, and he and Lily jumped apart. Well, he did. Lily simply sank further into the wall. He felt his entire body heat from embarrassment, knowing that the three people standing in the doorway would never let him live this down. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

Sirius was spluttering.

Remus had his mouth open, wide-eyed and staring.

Peter looked like he was about to faint.

For a few moments, no one moved. Finally, James grabbed Lily's hand, motioning to his friends. "Er… We're just… going to go down for some breakfast…" He nodded as if affirming the sentence to himself, then hurriedly ushered Lily out of the bedroom. With any luck, they'd make it out of the portrait hole before the other three Marauders caught up with them. He glanced back, hearing a few surprised voices as the portrait closed. Lily's sigh of relief caught his attention, and he noticed her flushed cheeks.

"Well… That was embarrassing," she whispered, anxiously placing a lock of hair behind her ear. He scratched his neck nervously.

"Yeah…" he mumbled, but subtly entwined his fingers with hers. He gave her a questioning look, hoping that it was okay. True, she hadn't seemed to object in the shower, and he had seen the answer in her eyes, but he wanted to hear it, too. He wanted to make sure he was what she wanted. But after everything that had happened, if she didn't want him, he didn't know what he'd do.

She smiled tentatively and nodded, leaning to her toes to gently place a kiss on his lips. His free hands grasped her waist as he smiled when he refused to let her go. His smile widened as he leaned back and saw her eyes still closed, enjoying the sensation of his kiss.

Her eyes slowly blinked open, and she stared at him for a moment. "I want to be with you," she said, voice coated with soft determination.

"Am I dreaming? Because I would never expect _the_ Lily Evans to tell _the_ James Potter that she'd want to be with him."

He whirled, fixing his long-time best friend with a glare of contempt. Sirius shrugged, but still had a crazy grin on his face, like James and Lily were one of the biggest scandals to ever grace Hogwarts. But in all honesty, they probably were, especially since he had sworn his love since third year and she had sworn her hate since second year. Remus caught up a moment later, the pace of his breathing evidence that he'd been running.

"Sorry, James," Remus panted. "I tried to stop him, but you know how he is." Even though the werewolf was standing up for Sirius, he still winced at the end of the apology.

James nodded, but still glared at Sirius. His best friend should know better than to push this in his face. Then again, Sirius didn't know the situation, but he still wished the Animagus had _some_ tact. But, as he looked at his dark-haired friend, he felt a sigh run through his system. Sirius have tact? That was almost like asking the moon to disappear so Remus wouldn't Change anymore. Utterly impossible. Sirius was Sirius, and while it would be nice if Sirius had tact or any other form of sense, he liked his best friend the way he was.

"Well, it's a bit of a long story…" James started. "But—"

Lily placed a hand on his arm, and he saw that look in her eyes again. He heart stopped as she sent him a small smile. "It's okay, James." She turned to the three Marauders – Peter had just caught up with the others. "I don't mind if they know. It's not like we can keep you and me a secret from all of Hogwarts."

"Lily," he said slowly, resting a hand on her chin and turning her eyes on him. "Are you sure? I mean, it's been… two days?"

She nodded. "I know. It's okay." He smiled when she lifted herself to her tiptoes to kiss him, but it was ruined when Sirius pretended to gag.

"Jamsey, if I had _any_ idea how nauseating this would be, I would have told you to leave her alone a long time ago." Sirius shook his head, and Remus nudged him in the shoulder, rolling his eyes in annoyance and trying to get the black haired man to apologize.

Lily scowled at Sirius, moving toward him with a dangerous sway of her hips. Sirius had enough sense to back away. "Listen, Black. I don't care if you think it's nauseating. I want to be with James, and I'll be sticking around for a while."

There had to have been a dangerous glint in Lily's eyes or else Sirius wouldn't have agreed. Either that or there was something else in Lily's gaze that had made Sirius realize that she was serious. She glanced back at James, a smile on her face as she took his hand. He couldn't believe it. She was staying with him – he could see it in the way she moved against him and the way she smiled at him. That smile reached her eyes, and it lit the emerald until they seemed to glitter with life. She wasn't leaving. She wasn't going back to Randy.

A few minutes later, the five of them were seated at Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. Sirius was piling his plate in accordance with his ridiculously fast metabolism and Peter was filling his plate with pastries while Remus only munched on an apple and James and Lily filled two small bowls with porridge. James raised an eyebrow, catching Remus' eye, but the werewolf shrugged.

"I'm never too hungry in the morning, you know."

James nodded, recognizing how Remus looked like he always did after a Change. He was always too tired to put on anything but a t-shirt and sweats, and his hair hung dirty and unkempt around his drawn and tired face. Dark circles decorated the skin underneath his eyes, and his normally pale complexion was even lighter, causing his scars to stand out more prominently than before. James' eyes flickered to Remus' right arm, noticing a new scar. It was long, red, and puffy, starting from just above the t-shirt sleeve until it stopped a few inches above his wrist.

Despite how severe the injury must have been for remnants of the cut to still be visible, James new it would be completely healed within a day or two.

The werewolf caught James' gaze, rolling his eyes and looking pointedly at the friend sitting next to him. Sirius was eating his food as if he hadn't been fed in three days. But he struggled to hide a snicker when he saw the scratches on his friend. There was one just underneath his jaw that stretched around the side of his neck and disappeared into his t-shirt. Two parallel scratches ran down the length of his left arm, and from the look of them, one healing spell hadn't completely gotten rid of them. He smiled to himself. Looked like Remus had gotten the better of Sirius – something the two had argued about constantly.

Sirius looked up, the scowl on his face evidence that he knew what James was thinking. James glanced at Lily, and when she sent him a questioning look, he simply shrugged.

"Looks like I was right, Sirius," he smiled, hazel eyes sparkling. "You owe me twenty galleons."

"He heals faster," Sirius growled.

Remus scoffed. "Oh, come off it, Sirius. You know I beat you way more than you beat me." The werewolf took another bite of his apple, trying to hide the snap in his voice. He frowned when he saw James looking at him.

"Ah, Remus…" James sat back and shook his head, mischievous grin spreading across his face. "I love you the morning after. So much funnier than normal."

The werewolf grunted. "So happy you like it."

Sirius cracked a smile. "Aw, come on, Remy. You know it's true. You're so serious when you're in a good mood."

"What is this, 'pick on Remus' day?"

"You know it's like this every morning," Sirius smiled knowingly, nudging Remus with his elbow. The werewolf looked down, but his lips quirked with a small smile. Even Peter smiled; they were all in on their own little private jokes. He turned toward Lily.

"He _hates_ being called Remy."

Remus fixed him with a deadly glare. "Yeah, cause it's so much better than Jamsey."

James' smile dropped as he and Remus matched glares. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Peter swallow the food in his mouth, warily watching him and Remus, even though he never did pay too much attention to everyone else during breakfast anyway, but Sirius rubbed his hands together.

"Oh, this'll be good."

He heard Lily sigh before she leaned over the table, thrusting her hands in between him and Remus. "No fighting at breakfast. If you do, I _will_ tell McGonagall, James. You're a Head and you should know this. Remus, I'll deduct points for that, too. Any attempt to continue and I will hex one or both of you. And Black, get a life."

She sat down and James stared at her. Lily hadn't acted like that in a long time, and he was smiling, thankful that he had his Lily back again. She looked at him, a curious smile on her lips before she quickly threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. He wasn't sure what he had done, but it meant a lot to her if she was hugging him in the Great Hall.

"Thank you," she whispered in his ear.

"Okay, okay, okay." Sirius held up his hands, fixing James and Lily with a hard stare. "So what the hell is with you guys, anyway? I mean, come on, James. We leave to help Remy with his furry problem, and you're still dreaming about her. We don't even see you the next day or the next night to help again, and suddenly the cold heartless bitch is acting like she's in love with you."

"Sirius!" James shouted, standing up from his seat. He couldn't believe his best friend was saying this to her. He had no idea what this girl had been through and how trapped she must have felt.

"Sirius, how could you say—" Remus began, but Sirius held up his hands before pointing to Lily, her mouth open and ready to say something.

"Don't even try to lecture me, Evans. You know that you've turned him down too many times for us to remember, although he probably does. Listen, Evans. I'm his best friend. I've had to hear him bitch about everything for at least five years—"

"Four," James corrected.

"Fine, fine, four then. Still, I've seen his heart broken too many times, and I won't let you do it to him again, especially if you're acting like this."

"Sirius, really…"

Lily held up her hand, stopping Remus' protest. James looked at her, surprised at how calm she was. He didn't think that she'd want to hex Sirius, but she had never really liked him, and hardly ever backed down from an accusation.

"No, he's right. Sirius is right," she said softly. Peter choked on the bit of food he was swallowing, Remus blinked wordlessly, and Sirius was spluttering again. James turned to her, about to say something when he suddenly heard a few shouts further down the Gryffindor table.

"Lily!"

"Oh, Merlin! Lily, there you are!"

Alice and Mary were rushing in between the tables, the relief on their faces evident as they hurried toward Lily. Alice's brown hair was mussed, and Mary had dark circles under her eyes. They enclosed Lily in hugs, crowding next to her. Alice tucked her head into Lily's shoulder, relieved tears slipping down her cheeks. Despite the appearance of her friends, he was happy that Lily still had her hand wrapped in his.

"Oh, Lily." Alice sniffled. "We thought… We weren't sure. And we don't know the Head dorm's password so we couldn't see if you were still…"

Mary fixed her with a harsh look before saying, "We're just happy you're here. That you're alive, that is…" Mary trailed off as he eyes met Alice's, realizing she hadn't said anything much better than Alice would have. She shrugged and glanced down, gasping when she saw James and Lily's intertwined hands. "Lily…"

The redhead followed Mary's eyes, and her cheeks flamed. "Um…"

"Wait, wait." Sirius turned to the two girls, annoyance clearly visible on his face. "Girls, be quiet. _The_ Lily Evans just told me that I'm right, and I want to keep it that way before she changes her mind."

"But Lily," Mary began, tapping Alice on the shoulder and pointing at their hands. Alice gave a small shriek, completely at a loss for words as she stared. So maybe Sirius' reaction had been right. Maybe he and Lily really were the most scandalous couple to ever grace Hogwarts – especially considering their history.

Finally, Alice seemed to find her voice. "Lily, how in Merlin's name did _this_ happen?"

She was about to answer, and so was he, but Sirius beat them to it. "Well, _Alice_. She was about get to that when you and Mary decided to come over and interrupt her."

Alice sent him a withering look, but he simply shrugged. All eyes turned to the redhead, and she swallowed nervously. She turned to James, almost begging him to do it for her, but he shook his head. This wasn't something he could fix for her. In the end, he could only show her the path, and it was up to her to find her own strength again. She had to find herself.

Lily licked her lips and nodded, gripping his hand for support. He softly brushed his thumb over the top of her hand, and he felt her body relax against him. "Technically," she began, "I'm still with Randy, but – Sirius, do you want me to explain or not?" she said quickly, and when he nodded quietly, she continued. "Randy was fine when we started going out, but after we had sex the first time, things changed. When I told him I didn't want to, he'd beat me until I said yes. It wasn't too bad in the beginning – I'd have a bad bruise on my wrist or arm, but as time went on, they got worse. He would beat me even though I said yes. Mary and Alice couldn't deal it, so I went to James.

"He's been caring for me the nights that I really need help. Two nights ago, it was worse than normal, and the only person I felt entirely comfortable with about all the healing was him. And then, he showed me…" No one could doubt the smile lighting her face. She looked up, eyes determined. "He made me realize what I wanted, and who I had been. He made me understand that I have to do this, to fix this on my own. I have to stand up for myself again, like I used to, like I need to. Everything with Randy just happened so slowly that I didn't even know what was happening or how things had changed until… until it had been too late."

She shuddered slightly, and gripped his hand like a vice as her eyes perused the small group in front of her. James, too, glanced at his friends. Sirius' expression was unsmiling, and even thought the black haired man was his friend, it was hard for James to read his face. Remus's face was grim, like he had suspected something of that nature, and Peter was frozen with his fork halfway between the plate and his mouth.

"I don't understand it, Evans. You're not the type to take that shit," Sirius murmured, but there was no humor in his voice.

Lily sighed. "You know, there's always that point in your life where you look at someone else's relationship or their problems and you say, 'There's no way that'll happen to me. I'll be able to tell right away.' But it doesn't work that way." Her voice cracked slightly. "Randy was a nice guy, he really was. And ever so slowly, bit by bit, he would change – nothing major, though. I would let things slide because I liked him, because I thought, 'He's a Ravenclaw; they're one of the good guys.'" She shook her head.

"You don't realize what's happening to you until it's too late. You always say that you'd do this or that when the time comes, but sometimes the change is so gradual that by the time you realize what you've done it's already too late. You've changed, or the situation has changed, and when you look back, you can't help but smack yourself and say 'Why didn't I see that before?' It happens to all of us. I just stayed with Randy because I was afraid that if I left, he would do something much worse than he's already done." The redhead looked at the table. "And that's saying something," she added quietly.

For a while, nobody said anything.

He was gripping her hand, being her support, and she thanked him with a smile. It was so nice to see her smile again – and not one of those fake ones. This time, the sparkle reached her eyes and her entire face shone. Her smiles were always brilliant, one of the things he loved about her.

"Look, Evans… I was just looking out for James…" Sirius started, but Remus shoved his elbow in the man's ribs.

"Just shut up, Sirius."

"I'm not going to completely apologize!"

"Well, you should, you disgusting hairy dog! Mind you, you shed _everywhere_!"

"I do not! You're the one with the hair problem!"

"That's not something that I can help!"

"Oh, come on, Sirius," James started, "you've got to admit that you do shed all over the carpet."

"Now, hold it, player, I—"

"Player?" James glared. "_I'm_ not the one that's slept with almost every girl in Gryffindor! You're the one with your nose in every girl knickers!"

"Hey! I'm your best friend, Jamsey, and dammit if I know that you've had plenty of girlfriends!"

"Only like three or four you smelly dog!"

"Well, you're the one with those crazy antlers on your head!"

"BOYS!"

"What?" he and Sirius asked in unison.

Lily's face was livid; he hadn't seen her so mad in months, and she looked positively beautiful.

"I don't care what in Merlin's name you boys are arguing about, but _stop it_. I _will_ hex either one of you if you continue to yell at each other like stupid idiots, even if it was a little funny how much of a fool you two looked like. Now, can we _please_ sit down calmly and eat?" she finished.

James blinked and turned to meet Sirius' gaze. The black haired man smiled, and the tension was broken. He and his best friend shook hands, muttering something about bros and friendship pacts and the Marauders. However, Sirius looked at him, eyes calculating, and that was never too much of a good sign.

"Do I really shed all over the place?"

He and Remus laughed. "Everywhere."

"Che, shut up guys…" he grunted, but everyone was laughing.

* * *

**A/N:** Phew! It's all done. Thanks for being patient with me, guys. I really do appreciate it, and I hope you guys liked this chapter. It's nearer the length I have for my _Lost in the Rain_ chapters, and it's a nice sixteen pages, so hopefully my readers enjoy the longer chapters. Please review, because I like to know what you guys think and it makes me feel happy.

Until next time:

- wolf's paradise


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Omygosh look! I'm actually finishing this story! It is now officially complete! I am so sorry I haven't updated this story for…holy crap a freakin year! – I didn't mean for that to happen haha. I do hope that you guys enjoy this last installment in this short, smutty story of Lily and James ;).

**Disclaimer:** No own =(.

Chapter Four

He was utterly and completely speechless. When he looked closely, he saw Lily trembling slightly, but that bright fire was back in her eyes and her posture was straight, chin almost in the air, and the same aura around her that she used to have when he'd smirked at the haughty way she used to speak to him.

"Lily…" he murmured.

Sirius and Remus were talking loudly, but out of all of them, Sirius was obviously the most impressed.

Not two minutes ago, Randy had stepped over to the Gryffindor table, tugging roughly on Lily's arm to try to get her to follow him out of the Great Hall. James had immediately stood, ripping Randy's arm away from her, and the other boy sneered. The Hall had gone strangely quiet.

Lily had stood a moment after, body stiff but her eyes spitting flames, and James had thought he would never see her that fiery again. She hadn't needed to yell at Randy – her words echoed throughout the Great Hall walls so everyone could hear – and merely told him that he was an utter and complete asshole and that they were over.

James had never heard Lily curse before, but from the way her lips curled and how she practically spit the word, he figured it must be some sort of Muggle curse. Then, to the great surprise of all, Lily reared her fist back and socked Randy right in the nose.

For a while, James could only stand there, stunned. He had been on the receiving end of Lily's punches a lot, and he knew what they were like. And Randy was holding his nose, hurling more curses at her before fleeing the Great Hall.

They, too, had left quickly, knowing that once the teachers overcame their initial astonishment, one would certainly come to Lily and demand the entire story. And James knew that should something happen, Lily would get off clean. He would willingly testify that he had witnessed the bruises, and he suspected that Alice and Mary would stand up for her as well.

"You know, Evans," Sirius started, "I think I like you. I mean, I thought you were a stuck-up prude before, and especially since you became a Head for seventh year, but you know what? You're definitely not a prude."

She had the good grace to snort. "Sure, Sirius. Sure."

"What? You're not."

"She never was," James butted in. Lily had never been a prude. Sirius just didn't…_follow_…her like James had before.

The redhead absently rubbed her knuckles, glancing down. "Ow," she murmured.

James took her hand, carefully running the pad of his thumb over the raw and reddened skin. "Well, I think it's a good hurt knowing you got Randy back."

For a quick second, he saw her contemplating it before a slow smile spread across her lips.

"Yeah. I feel good."

He thought she looked radiant, and he could see every part of her was alive. Now _that_ was his Lily. The Lily that didn't let anyone walk over her, the Lily that was one of the most talented witches at Hogwarts, the Lily that studied hard in front of the Gryffindor Common Room fire only to look up in amusement at the antics of some of the first and second years.

Suddenly, one of the large Great Hall doors creaked and banged open, and out stepped a confused and purposeful and _very_ furious Professor McGonagall. Lily glanced at him, her green eyes a bit tense and a sheepish smile on her face, but he knew what she was asking.

"Do it," he urged quietly. It was high time she told someone about Randy. "Tell her."

She stared at him, smiling hesitantly, but it was broken when Professor McGonagall was close enough to splutter, "M-Miss Evans, I – Explain yourself!"

Professor McGonagall's face was flushed underneath her pointy witch hat, and she was wringing her fingers in the extra fabric of her robes, her voice clearly shaking with fury even though she had no idea what to say.

Lily turned towards their Transfiguration teacher. "Professor," she said slowly, "I would be more than willing to explain in your office."

James could tell that McGonagall was about to respond with some sort of retort along the lines of "You certainly will," but as Lily looked at her, something stopped the older woman from speaking. The lines of her mouth were turned down in a serious frown, but she simply nodded brusquely.

"Follow me, then, Miss Evans," she instructed, turning on her heel and walking away. As much as he didn't want her to, Lily followed.

But she looked back at him.

His back hunched forward and his concentration on Lily's retreating figure broke when Sirius suddenly clapped him on the back. "Well done, mate."

He raised an eyebrow. "Well done? On what?"

Sirius grinned. "You got her, didn't you? After all those years of moaning and groaning and moping and being so _lovesick_ you finally got her to see who you really are! Of course, who couldn't help but love a Marauder?"

James shook his head. "You are incorrigible, Sirius." But he smiled nonetheless. This was why he was friends with Sirius and Remus and Peter. Peter definitely wasn't as outgoing as Sirius or even Remus, but the three made it all worthwhile. They were his best friends, and he would do anything for them.

"I still can't believe it," Remus mused. "She actually likes you now."

"Gee, thanks," James muttered sarcastically.

Remus just shrugged. "Well, she's just hated you for so long. I'm still in shock about the whole thing."

"Yeah, yeah. You can shut up now, Mooney."

"Really, though, Prongs, it's a miracle. Hell, even I wasn't expecting it." Sirius looked serious, but there was a glint in his eyes, and James knew he wasn't being as serious as it seemed.

So he rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine. Make fun of me all you want, but I'm leaving."

"Aww, Jamesy-poo! We didn't mean it!" Sirius called, but James didn't listen. Most of this was still new, and while he was cocky and easygoing most of the time, he just wasn't in the mood for Sirius – and even Remus' – remarks about him and Lily.

He was worried about her in McGonagall's office; apparently when Mary and Alice had tried to get her to talk before, she wouldn't, and he wondered if she needed support. He supposed that seemed stupid, but anything pertaining to Lily wasn't stupid to him.

And really, he wasn't mad at his friends at all. They were being who they always were, and they didn't know how many times Lily had come to him in the middle of the night, trusting _him_ and _him alone_ to take care of her. After Mary and Alice had refused to, of course, but it didn't lessen the significance – not to him.

In all honesty, they were right. Most of it was shocking. Lily could have taken his advance in a completely different way. She could have convinced herself that she wanted nothing to do with him, even after she had asked him to make love to her.

There was no way he could resist. He had been dying to touch her in any way other than "friends" and besides, he had felt the intense urge to show her how she _should_ be loved, how she _could_ be loved.

Thank Merlin she had given him the chance.

"Hey, Potter! POTTER!" Someone suddenly yelled.

James was broken from his thoughts, and whirled around, eyes narrowing when he caught sight of just who was walking towards him. His lips curled and he sneered, "You've got a lot of nerve showing up here, Randy."

The Ravenclaw still had a light bruise around his nose and eyes, but he had no doubt gone to see Madame Pomfrey when he had fled the Great Hall since he was no longer bleeding. And if there was one thing James new just looking at Randy, it was that he was absolutely livid.

"You have no right, Potter! No right!"

But James was livid, too. "No right to what? Give Lily what she deserves?" He could barely control his temper. His fists were clenching sporadically as he tried desperately not to lash out and break Randy's nose again.

"She was mine, Potter!"

"Lily's not a possession, Randy!" James yelled, cheeks flushed with anger. Randy's hair was disheveled, but some sort of idea came to Randy, because when his eyes flashed, James felt the hair on the back of his neck rise. He didn't like that look.

"All right then, Potter," Randy growled – a very good impression if James had any say – and took a step closer. "Meet me by the Black Lake. Eight o' clock. We'll fight for Lily."

James' lip curled again. "No way." He wanted to – Merlin, he wanted to fight on Lily's behalf, to show this Ravenclaw what for, but he knew that Lily wouldn't like it.

"Scared, Potter?"

"No."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

He didn't have to tell Lily…did he? Would she find out?

"Come on, Potter. What do you have to lose? You're the best, aren't you?" Randy continued, his voice taking on a lilting tone, one that had James' heart thudding in his chest.

He remembered first meeting Randy. He was always neat, his hair combed, clothes straight, and he would smile a lot. But this…James had never seen this before.

"Fine. I'll do it."

Randy grinned. "Tonight, then, Potter." He turned to walk away, but smiled widely when he looked over his shoulder. "Oh, and…don't bring your wand, Potter. We settle this Muggle style."

James didn't like that either, and Randy's wide mouth was creeping him out, but he gave one curt nod before he left, not knowing where he was headed, but he just needed to go anywhere, _somewhere_, other than where Randy was.

00000

Soft, pale fingers swirled against his chest, and James let his eyes fall shut. His breathing was still slightly ragged, as was Lily's, and every time she breathed he could feel her breasts press against his side. It was ridiculous how much Lily turned him on with merely a word or the simplest of touches.

Once James had calmed down, he had found Lily, silently sitting on his bed in the Head Dormitories. She had changed from her robes into his Quidditch shirt. After discussing how the meeting with McGonagall went (she had explained everything, and only after that had McGonagall expressed her suspicions that something was indeed wrong), Lily had leaned forward, lightly pressing her lips to his.

From there, everything escalated until they were breathless and panting, tangled in the sheets as they both came down from their high. Slowly, James ran his fingers through Lily's hair, marveling at how soft it was and how lucky he felt to have managed to convince her that he was indeed good for her.

True, the events hadn't been pretty that led to this, and he wished that Lily had never had to go through an abusive boyfriend – even at Hogwarts – but he had no doubt that she was stronger because of it. And the other reason he couldn't find it in himself to regret the circumstances was that it had brought her to him. Without it, they wouldn't be here.

Her fingers still traced unknown patterns over his skin, and she slowly kissed his shoulder. He gazed at her, knowing it would still take a while for her to completely become herself again, but he could already tell she was so much better.

It stroked his ego to know he had been able to help her, but even more so, he was just happy she was finally happy. It had almost physically hurt to see that fire die out a little every day until he couldn't see it anymore, but now…

Now, she was starting to heal.

"James…" she murmured, scooting against him until she was comfortable, a small smile on her lips. "Goodnight."

He grinned, happy that she was so sated (even though for a while there before they hadn't even slept and had made love practically all day), but when his eyes glanced at the clock, his grin vanished as soon as it had come.

It was almost eight o'clock.

He felt his heart drop. He knew Lily wouldn't like it, but Randy had asked for it. Literally. James couldn't believe things had happened this way – that Lily was finally his. He had dreamed about it for so long that it almost seemed like it didn't happen, but there she was, lying next to him with a contented smile on her face.

Which was why he had to protect her.

Everyone knew that he and Sirius were the two most troublesome and uncontrollable students at Hogwarts, but they were also two of the best wizards in their year.

James sighed. In all his duels, he'd always had his wand. This time, he wouldn't. Randy had said that, but even still, he was certain he could beat Randy even without a wand.

He glanced at Lily, guilt pressing at his chest. He had to go.

Quietly, James left the bed, careful not to move Lily and wake her. Sirius and Peter were out, making sure the second, less dangerous night of Remus' change went just as smoothly as last night. He'd already told them he couldn't make it tonight, and Sirius had wiggled his eyebrows, and while James didn't like it, he let them think that. He didn't need them to know exactly what he was doing.

Once he was out of the Head dorms, it was easy to find his way through the halls. He had travelled them so many times he didn't even need to look at the map. Granted, they were the ones that made it, so they were the ones that had discovered all the paths that led throughout the school, but it was definitely a nice addition to the map when they'd added the feature to see where everyone was.

He wanted to do that with Randy, but it was probably a bad idea. Even though he never took a bad idea into consideration (because he could mostly get out of it later if it went down the drain), this was something he didn't want to mess up.

Finally, he was outside, moving towards the Black Lake and keeping a sharp eye for Randy. There was a reason the Ravenclaw hadn't wanted him to bring his wand, and he had to make sure he stayed alert. One wrong move, and he could be killed, so he had to tread carefully.

Every sense was on high alert, waiting for Randy to pop out of nowhere and hex him – or something worse. Still, each step carried him further, and before he knew it he was at the Black Lake, stopping a few hundred feet from the shore, watching for the smallest movement.

When Randy appeared over the hill, James felt butterflies rage in his stomach, even though he deflated slightly when Randy appeared. He'd expected to have to fight for his life suddenly, and it was all anti-climactic really.

Randy stopped in front of him, hair shaggy, face drawn in a mixture of malice, disdain, and some sort of hidden pleasure at a secret only he knew. James wanted to say something, but he locked his jaw, keeping his mouth shut. That was always his problem – he just couldn't ever keep his thoughts to himself.

And dammit, he still couldn't. "So? How're we gonna settle this?" He wanted to get it over with so he could go back to Lily, but for some reason, when Randy smiled, James felt that this wouldn't just be short, it'd be deadly.

"You ever heard of the legend of the werewolf, Potter?" Randy asked.

He stiffened. "Yes."

"Well, of course! That's right," Randy sneered, failing to look surprised. "Your dear friend Remus is one himself."

"How do you know about Remus?" James demanded.

Randy kept his mouth shut. He just smiled, eyes glittering unnaturally in the moonlight. Finally, he said, "I can tell."

"What are you getting at?" James bristled.

"Nothing, nothing," Randy said evasively, his light answer a complete turnaround from the anger in his voice a moment before. "But I'm surprised that dear Lily never noticed – considering how smart she is and all."

"Stop playing around, Randy!" James yelled. "Make your point already!" He really didn't like the tingles of warning running down his spine.

Randy grinned and stepped closer. "My point, Potter?" His smile turned feral. "I wanted you to come completely defenseless. I—"

Whatever else he had been about to say was cut off as the grass and the lake sparkled with silver moonlight. Randy's eyes glowed, and before James could even think of what was happening, his stomach was already at his feet, because even though he couldn't _think_, he _knew_ what was happening. He'd seen it too many times before to miss it.

Randy was a werewolf.

He swallowed, watching the nails lengthen first, then the hair, and finally the bones. They cracked, splitting and reforming, popping ligaments as the hair on his body grew, making him a musty brownish-grey color. Spit flew from the open fangs glinting like the sharpest ivory, eyes glowing a devilish black as they fixed on James.

It was hideous. It was the only thing James could see. He'd never liked it when Remus turned into a werewolf; he stood mostly on his hind legs, abdomen a mess of rippling, hairy muscle, but he was thin, too, pointed ears on the back of his skull. But Remus had been James' friend, so he hadn't given it a second thought. He'd accepted his friend unconditionally, and they had even come up with a plan to become animagus so they could help him.

This werewolf looked the same, but his ears weren't pinned back in shame or remorse. His ears were pinned back because he was angry and he wanted to _kill_, those eyes a deep hole of glinting black death.

So he did the first thing that came to mind. Only when he started to shift did the anger course hot and heavy through his body, and his eyes hardened as Randy ran ever closer.

The werewolf looked surprised, but roared in fury, charging that much faster as the last of James' transformation materialized. Then, he was the mighty stag, antlers pointed viciously towards the monster seconds away from crashing into him.

Then, Randy was on him, the two clashing in a flurry of hooves and claws and angry roars. Randy's sharp claws dug into James' skin, ripping it away. He let out a cry of pain, quickly swinging his head around the side to smash his antlers into Randy. It clipped his arm, and the werewolf roared, lashing out, one claw catching James' face as he tumbled away, digging at the grass to stop his momentum.

James turned, wincing as eh felt the gash on his face sting and swell and the claw marks on his side drip blood oozing with yellowish liquid.

Slowly, Randy stood, fangs dripping with venomous saliva. A furtive glance down, and James saw the right arm he had hit hanging loosely at Randy's side. The werewolf looked positively livid. Whatever happened, he couldn't get bitten. He just couldn't. This wasn't Remus who – compared to this one – was a tame type of werewolf that tried his best to think through the addicting state that came every full moon. This werewolf would _kill him_ if he let him get too close.

Randy let out another roar before he charged again. James dug his hooves into the ground, watching, waiting to put his antlers down just before Randy would collide with him. At the last second, he swung them at the werewolf, but he dodged, whipping around to slash at James again.

He sidestepped, twirling around and kicking out with one hind leg, connecting with Randy's chest. A claw slashed at the back of his leg just above the hock, and panic made his heart suddenly stutter in fear as he felt the werewolf fly back, angling his head so his teeth just barely grazed the cannon bone.

_Don't get bitten. Don't get bitten. Don't get bitten!_

It was like a mantra repeating itself over and over in his mind, and he backed away quickly, eyes looking at the thin trail of silver-red blood dripping from the wound he had inflicted.

He flinched again, feeling the pain lancing up his leg from the slice of Randy's claw. There were a few other injuries – most bruises from the sheer force of impact when Randy had slammed himself into James without a second thought.

Suddenly, Randy moved, briskly, soundlessly, and James barely had time to jerk away before Randy was on him, claws digging painfully into his chest as James reared up, trying as best as he could to avoid those vicious, snapping jaws mere feet away from his face.

Back feet dug into the grass, trying to find the support to rear even higher. His front legs were almost trapped, but he lashed out with them as best as he could in attempt to find some place that hurt Randy.

The werewolf lunged again, and James jerked back, eyes suddenly wide as he realized just how efficiently he'd grabbed hold of the dirt, because his back feet weren't moving. He tilted, the claws ripping out of his chest and a strangled cry of pain and fear escaping his throat as he teetered back.

Then, before he knew it, he crashed to the ground onto his back, the heavy thud knocking the wind out of him completely. He didn't even have a chance to get it back. Randy was on him in a flurry of hair and limbs and spit, and even without air, the instinct in James shot forward, blood filling his veins with adrenaline as he tried to push the werewolf off.

It was going to be the end soon. He knew it. He could barely suck in enough air to recover, and those teeth kept coming dangerously close to ripping the skin and letting the venom slip into his bloodstream.

"Stupify!"

The cry was deep and loud and forceful in the midst of the battle, and James had no trouble hearing it. It startled him and Randy, but after a second, the werewolf fell limp over James. He sucked in breath after breath, finally relaxing, not realizing that when he had fallen backwards he had changed back to a human after he'd hit the ground.

He slid from underneath Randy's unconscious body, panting, scooting away from the wayward student. His hazel eyes immediately swept to his savior, and while he was surprised, he also wasn't. Of course it would be Dumbledore.

"Are you all right, James Potter?" the old man asked, voice soft and sure in that contemplative way he always seemed to have, not at all like the fierce cry that had echoed over the lake moments before.

All he could do was nod. James still didn't have any breath, and his skin felt like it was on fire. He was in pain, the cuts still oozing blood.

Not one moment later, three teachers hurried over the hill, one of them McGonagall, her face set. There was no doubt that she obviously believed everything Lily had told her, and if not, her evidence was right in front of her.

"Mr. Potter? I think it would be best if we left. I'm sure the teachers are more than capable of seeing to Mr. Turnbuckle."

James nodded again, slowly standing and wincing, following silently behind the headmaster as he lead them to the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey was immediately a bumbling mess, saying something about children and their wonderful habit of getting hurt and into trouble as she bustled around the battered Gryffindor, applying salve and bandages in all the necessary places.

Dumbledore was still there throughout the whole process, and it wasn't until a few more minutes after Madam Pomfrey left that James was finally able to speak.

"He was a werewolf." It was all he could manage. Yet after that, it was like everything just flowed out. "I didn't even know. I couldn't _tell_. And I see Mooney every day…!"

"You have questions, then, Mr. Potter?"

He nodded, and Dumbledore sighed. "Please lay back. Poppy will have my beard if I don't keep you calm," he chuckled. James had to admit it lightened the mood, and he obeyed Dumbledore's request, but he couldn't hide the expectant curiosity on his face.

"When Randy Turnbuckle's mother came to the school, she was desperate to give her son a good education. She wasn't sure what to do with him since she reported that he had been bitten only six months before his entrance to Hogwarts. From the description, it sounded like Fenrir Greyback."

"Voldemort's follower…the werewolf," James said breathlessly.

"Yes. I kept a close watch on him. I figured that since Mr. Lupin hadn't been a problem, I could take a chance on Mr. Turnbuckle. I didn't trust him as much as I did your good friend Remus, and unfortunately, my hunch was proved correct. I'm sorry for what it caused you, James."

James shook his head, rubbing his forehead and swiping a hand through his hair. "No. No, if anything, apologize to Lily. She was the one that…" he swallowed, "had to deal with him."

"If you wish, Mr. Potter," Dumbldore nodded. Then, the old headmaster tilted his head, eyes suddenly sparkling. "Then again, that might not be necessary. Miss Lily Evans is headed this way as we speak."

He stood. James still had questions, but he knew he could get those later. Dumbledore nodded to him once, then proceeded to exit the hospital, catching Lily at the large doors. They exchanged a few words, then he disappeared, and Lily slowly stepped closer.

"Hey," James smiled, and that was all it took. Lily's steps quickened until she was almost running to his bed, eyes quickly roaming over his form once she reached him. A quick fist jabbed his good shoulder, and James let out a loud "Ow!" before rubbing the spot and glaring at the green-eyed girl.

Lily's gaze was just as intense. "Don't ever do that to me again, James Potter!" she said viciously. "I can't believe you just – I mean, you simply can't – you're such an—"

But James didn't get to hear what came next. Quickly, even though it made him wince at the slight pain, he grabbed Lily's wrists and tugged her down to him, sealing his lips over hers.

When he pulled away, her cheeks were flushed, green eyes dark but sparkling with lust and something else James didn't understand until she spoke. "Please don't do that again, James," she whispered. "When I found out…" She heaved in a breath. "I was so worried."

"But we're going to be okay."

"Yes, but you're so hurt…!"

"Lily. I'll be fine."

"But—"

"No buts."

She pouted, but this time, she was the one initiate the kiss, her hands curling in his hair and she carefully pressed closer. When they were like this, nothing else mattered, not even the fact that he was injured. He had finally gotten the girl of his dreams, and though she'd been through hardships, she had learned to remain the same girl he'd always known.

And this time, James really did believe what he'd said.

They were going to be okay.

00000

**A/N:** Okay, so I know I rushed the end a bit, but guess what? It's all done! I'm so excited I finally finished this. I loved writing the fight scene between Randy and James, and I think it came out wonderfully if I may say so myself. Well, hope you guys liked this little short story of mine for prolly my favorite pairing of HP. Bye everyone!

- wolf's paradise


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